Wendy E. Crane, LMFT
Personal growth is like cleaning up a house. For the purpose of this blog, the metaphor of a house is being used to describe your inner world. What is the condition of your house? Is it a total disaster with years and maybe generations of issues that have been buried deep in its recesses? Is … Read more
Personal boundaries are a frequent topic of conversation in my office. This concept is so often misunderstood and misused. As a child, depending on your family of origin, you may have lacked experience with boundaries because your family did not view each other as separate entities within a common group, but rather extensions of each … Read more
The concept of a “clear yes/clear no” has been a consistent theme in my blogs so far. However, a few conversations in my office this week helped me to see a potential need for clarification on this point. Some of you may wonder how you can find this type of clarity in every situation that … Read more
The number one issue that couples bring into my office is the desire for “better communication.” Each one of us is a unique being and brings to our relationships an individual set of experiences, perspectives, and way of interacting. Below I have outlined the 5 most popular tools that I use when working with couples … Read more
Tell the truth Take the risk to be vulnerable and Let your partner into your internal world Truth leads to trust Trust creates safety Safety allows for vulnerability Vulnerability leads to intimacy Intimacy is the path of true love These words spilled out after a recent personal experience where I became aware of how powerful … Read more
What does the word “commitment” bring up for you? For some of you, it may bring up fear, feelings of constraint, or suffocation. For others of you it may stir thoughts and feelings of security, love, stability, and integrity. My thoughts on commitment have shifted as I have come into the middle phase of my … Read more
What secrets do you keep? What information about yourself is buried so deep that you wouldn’t dream of sharing it with another? You may even pray when you meet someone new that they never find out and fear that if they did, they would never be able to love or accept you and would probably … Read more
Have you ever noticed that your partners, family members, or friends have the tendency to reflect back aspects of your self? Sometimes those reflections are difficult to see. Many of us tend to focus on what is not working in someone else. What needs to change about them so that we can be happy. This … Read more
During this season, many of you travel or make time to visit with family and friends and frequently spend extended periods of time with your family of origin. This is an exciting, sacred, and emotional time that is also concentrated and can be stressful. I offer an awareness for you to contemplate as you travel, … Read more
Needs, wants, what’s the difference? This is a discussion that occurs frequently in my office. In our culture, we spend a lot of time talking about our needs. Most couples in my office begin the conversation with, “I need my partner to ____,” Or, “I just feel like my needs aren’t being met in this … Read more